Where I'm From

I am from home

from ice skating on the pond, marching through forts

and swinging on the monkey bars

from “don’t fall in the hot lava” and scavenger hunts

I am from tree with moon

and purple room

from Wapato Point, Lake Cavanaugh

and camping at the ocean

I am from “when I was a kid” and “hate is a very strong word”

I am from mom and dad and big sis

From George and Betty, Margaret and Howard

I am from red ribbon cake, potato salad

and cheeseburger frie diet coke

I am from exploration and adventure

from 4 generations of teachers

and strong women

I am from dependability and stability

from lots of “I love you’s” and hugs

I am from “my name is Jessica not Jesse!”

I am from where my daughter lives

I am from home

The Other Side...

          During last nights discussion the "other side" of the standardized testing debate was brought up.  People wanted to know more about the reasoning someone might use in support of these tests.  I feel this is a very important question because it is always imperative that we see an issue from multiple perspectives.  To know the other side means to be able to know your own side better as well. 

          For me the question is not only, what justification and or reasoning do supporters of standardized testing use to back their claim of the necessity and benefits of these tests, but also who are the people making these claims?  What credibility do they have?  With this specific issue, of standardized testing, it appears quite clear to me which side I deem more credible. 

          Most of the articles I have read, videos I have watched and people I have spoken to that stress the negative effects of standardized testing, and the way they are used in U.S. public schools, are critical educators, scholars, parents, and researchers.  The people in the classrooms who experience the effects of standardized testing first hand have more credibility, to me, than politicians, corporations and policy makers. 

          My overall point is that, while we must inquire about the reasons for supporting the "other side" of the issue, we must also ask, who is making those claims and what might be their motives be? 

My Brain and Heart Hurt

          My brain hurts after tonight's discussion in class.  I can't stop thinking about all the responsibility and pressure kids living in poverty must feel.  How hard it must be to live without hope!  The activity we did in class was excellent at giving some perspective on how difficult it would be to choose which bills you are going to pay each month.  After just a few minutes of trying to figure it out I just wanted to give up.  I wanted to give up because I didn't want to choose between food and electricity or running water.  I wanted to give up because I didn't want to think about the physical and emotional pain these families must feel everyday but of course, it is all I can think about. 

          After tonight's class I feel this weight on my heart when I think about all the stress these kids and parents are put under everyday.  What specifically can we do as teachers to lessen the burden these kids feel?  How do we empower these kids to end the cycle of poverty?  I am glad we are diving deep into these difficult issues and I know it will make us all better teachers, I greatly appreciate the difficult work we are doing.   But at the same time, as a very wise cohort member said tonight, "throw us a life raft"!  With all these questions and issues being raised we need some answers.  We need some hope!  We are wrestling with so many heart wrenching issues and I want to make sure I don't get all swallowed up, we need to come up for air every now and then and hear something positive.  So please someone tell me something positive.  

Being Conciously Aware of the Walls in our Clasrooms

This past weekend I had the "joy" of taking the West-E which was administered at a high school.  After being congregated with everyone in a general area we were eventually directed and split off into classrooms where we would eventually take the test.  Once entering the room and finding my seat we had to wait about 20 minutes or so until we could actually begin the test.  While I waited I began to scan the room and imagine that I was a high school student taking a class in this specific classroom.  I could very clearly see that the classroom had a focus on Literature.  There were posters on the wall depicting people reading and or famous authors.  I even noticed a textbook off to the side that had Literature in the title. 

As I sat there and tried to envision myself as a student in this classroom it actually made me kind of sad.  The classroom was extremely dreary and had no sign of life.  There were about 14 posters on the wall and each one looked like it had been there since the late 80's to early 90's.  What I noticed most, other than the fact that the classroom in general felt dirty, lifeless and an inadequate learning environment, was that 13 out of the 14 posters had pictures of white males on them.  There was one poster that was of Maya Angelou.  1out of 14 posters was a picture of a woman of color.  There were no other visual representations of women or people of color.  This made me wonder what the students that sit in this class everyday, who are not white males, feel about their inclusion in this classroom and subject. 

I believe, with my whole heart, that as teachers we should be aware of not only what we teach verbally but of the non verbal messages we send as well.  To create a classroom environment that is truly inclusive we need to be conscious of what we put on the walls of our classrooms.  Children are, as we all know, extremely perceptive and as teachers I find it imperative that we take every opportunity to make all of our students feel included.  What do you plan to put on the walls of your classroom?  How important do you feel the physical classroom environment is to you future students' learning?   

Should we as teachers adopt a colorblind lens?

The idea of being colorblind in our society is not only unrealistic but hurtful.  It assumes and takes the stand that race does not matter.  Instead of acknowledging our country’s past of slavery, racism and oppression it exclaims that there is a level playing field providing equal opportunities to everyone, regardless of race.  It denies that there are unfair obstacles and unearned privileges imbedded in our country’s institutions.  All of this week’s readings address this issue and how imperative it is that teachers acknowledge they see color.  The majority of our country’s school teachers are white middle class women, while the student population is quite racially and culturally diverse.  This means that as teachers we need to be prepared to teach children that very likely have different experiences, values and ideas.  We need to become “racially aware”.  Howard explains that, “racial awareness is the willingness of educators to listen to students talk about their racialized experiences, to probe for deeper clarity about these experiences, and to seek ways to learn from them” (122).

As teachers, it is imperative that we are aware of the privileges attached to being white.  As Howard suggests we should realize that becoming racially aware is a lifelong process which has no end point.  This is true for other differences you may have with your students as well, such as class, gender, physical abilities and or sexual orientation.  We need to be accepting and understanding of all of our students not just the ones that seem most like us.  To do this we need to, as Howard suggests, be willing to listen “to the stories, experiences, histories, struggles, and setbacks of marginalized groups” (119).  Understanding of the historical context and content of our schools and students is an extremely important journey that will lead to being a more thoughtful, compassionate, equitable, productive, engaging and effective teacher. 

As one of my professors always says, “we are all unfinished”.  This statement means so much to me because it stresses it is never too late to change or adapt who we are.  It stresses the potential for everyone to be lifelong learners, and that we all have the opportunity to reflect on who we are and who we want to be, no matter our age.  This idea is addressed many times throughout our readings.  Howard and Ayers both stress the importance that teaching is about constantly evolving to the needs of our students; to be ok with feeling uncomfortable and not knowing all the answers.  Part of the fun of being a teacher is exploring and discovering along with your students and understanding and embracing that learning is a two way street.